So Last Night's Evening of Pity and Self-Loathing Wasn't a Complete Waste . . .

          I have replaced my signature drink, the ever delightful and refreshing Frescanay (for the uninitiated, that's Fresca and cheap Chardonnay served in a coffee mug) with the even more intriguing GinGin (a minibar size bottle of Tangueray mixed with diet ginger ale, served in a coffee mug) a 73 calorie potable that packs a 94 proof punch. So it was after one of these babies that I began to reflect on the evenings disasterous job fair (yes, I obsess - get over it, because I can't) I began to realize that everything in life just comes down to how you look at it. So - cloaking myself in my veil of psuedo-liberal rage, I began to see that I was not being rejected by 90 potential employers - nope - the truth of the matter is that I - fully aware and atuned to humanity - with my bullshit and injustice detectors firmly in place - I, Sunshine Flower self righteous menopausal coed was shunning them.

            I was rejecting the Cargills and General Mills who punk feed the masses Cheerios made with GMO wheat and evil diabetes inducing HoHos laden with deadly high fructose corn syrup. I was crusading against the Baxters and Eli Lillys and their greedy mind and body numbing poisons. F*&k you Enterprise Rent-A-Car with your polluting carbon foot prints and screw you PetSmart for encouraging animal servitude by selling cute little hamsters and gold fish. Forget Target and Macy's and Kohl's with their insidious profits made off the back of little 5 year old Indonesian kids toiling away in sweatshops far far away. NO thank you American Greetings with their 'Happy Mother's Day cards' - how about calling it the 'Mom I love you so much I killed a tree for you' card, yeah, doesn't quite have the same ring now does it?

           So, it was after finishing my GinGin (and glazed donut) I realized, I hadn't spent the afternoon being excluded, denied and rebuffed - Nope, I was actually saving the world, one rejection at a time.